Raphael is Dead
by TeeFly
Summary: Follows Dean/Cas and what I think happens with them after "The French Mistake."
1. Raphael is Dead

**Disclaimer: **If Supernatural were mine there would be a lot more Castiel, and a hell of a lot more Destiel. So as you gathered, totally not mine. They are someone else's brilliant creation.

**A/N: **This is pretty much how it goes for Dean/Castiel after 6x15 'The French Mistake' or at least it is how it goes in my mind.

**Raphael is Dead**

Dean has been torn between wanting to call Cas and tell him to get his angelic ass down there and keeping him as far away as possible for the last week. His little trip to that fucked up alternate universe courtesy of Balthazar and Cas actually taught him a few things. One actors are dicks, two he's really glad Cas is…well Cas and not some freak with a weird name like Misha who constantly has a phone glued to his hand, and three that Cas actually was trying to protect them, in his own weird, socially inept way and he is damn grateful. Not that he would ever admit that out loud of course, he isn't a girl or Sam, but he gets it now or at least he kind of does and he knows he should apologize, swallow his pride and stop being such a dick (as Sam so kindly pointed out) but hell that just goes against ever fiber of his being.

Leaning against the hood of the Impala, which is currently in Bobby's scrap yard, and taking a long swig of beer he smiles as he looks in the window seeing Bobby and Sammy huddled up over some new-old book that came in the mail earlier, looking like Christmas had come incredibly early this year. He laughed, when seeing Sam's full, dorky smile, the one that took him back to days before everything went wrong. Days before Jess, Azazel, and Lucifer, days before hell, when he was just a kid in a field looking at Dean like he held the whole damn world in the palm of his hand. Like he was some kind of a hero, instead of some kind of monster. And if that smile made his heart clinch in some pathetic and really fucking girly way that caused the hint of tears to sting at his eyes with the memory of the innocence he had somehow been able to let Sam keep, even if only for a little while, well then, nobody would have been able to prove it.

Dean was torn from these thoughts when he heard the unmistakable flurry of wings somewhere in the wreckage to his left. He immediately froze, his heart picking up speed as he pulled his gun out without even pausing for a moment to think. It couldn't be Cas. He would never have appeared off in some random place, a hiding place; he would have just appeared way too fucking close to Dean for him to notice anything but the blue of his eyes and the gravel of his voice.

Shaking himself from his thoughts to focus on the situation at hand one name came to mind. Balthazar. And yeah, he really hoped it was that manipulative dick because he'd like to give him a piece of his mind. Maybe he could sort of understand why Cas had done it, but that assclown was another thing. They didn't have some embarrassing 'profound bond' as Cas had so unabashedly put it and he sure as hell wouldn't have any qualms about sticking him in a holy fire in the middle of a desert where it never fucking rains. Now that he was thinking about it, Dean really needed to have a conversation with Cas about who he called friends.

Once again forcing himself to focus he crept toward the place the noise was coming from and the closer he got the more he heard. Some sort of rustle, heaving breathing, a groan perhaps. Then it all went silent, an otherworldly, eerie kind of silent. The silent kind of shit they make horror movies about. When he stepped around the corner, as quietly as this world would allow, he saw a foot jutting out from the car and how damn pathetic was it that he would recognize that shoe anywhere? But hell it wasn't like he hadn't been wearing the same pair for over three years now, poor guy he should probably take him shopping too. When his mind finally caught up with itself he realized he was just standing there gun drawn on the other side of the car out of Cas' view, but with Cas in his. At that moment Cas turned around, facing him and that is when it hit him. _Cas_. He quickly put his gun away and rushed between the cars stopping right in front of him not exactly sure what was going to come next. And he just knew he would have trouble banishing the sight that met him in Bobby's yard that day out of his nightmares for years to come, but well it was nobodies' damn business.

"Cas!" he half whispered, half yelled, heart clinching in an entirely different way than before as he tried to move closer to the man who had somehow wormed his way into Dean's life, and maybe even his heart.

"Hello, Dean," he responded and if the situation hadn't been so utterly terrifying he might have allowed a small smile to grace his features at the thought that some things about Cas really would never change, but as it stood he almost grimaced.

"What the hell happened, dude? Are you okay?" growing steadily more frightened the more he looked at the man standing in front of him his entire shirt soaked red with blood, blood coated his face, and even hands, a bloody angelic blade held loosely by his side. He had to resist the urge to reach out and touch him, to pull him toward Bobby's house and make him lay down, or take him to the doctor. Just do something. But he knew Cas would simply look at him with his head cocked to the side and tell him he was fine. At least he imagined that's how that conversation would have gone.

Then Cas' expression changed. And during the brief moment that something of triumph, terror, and tragedy crossed the angel's features he allowed himself to wonder if they had won. The thought taking him by surprise because he'd never considered the war in Heaven his to win, he didn't even know shit about it, but somehow he had always believed Cas. Believed that if Cas lost everyone did. He wondered if there was more to it than that, but didn't have time to contemplate further as a tiny breath, wrecked with the kind of pain that Dean wished his friend would never have to know, escaped.

The next moment was one Dean would never forget. He could be trapped in hell for all of eternity and become some sick and twisted kind of monster, but he knew with absolute certainty no matter what happened in this life or the next this moment was going to stick with him forever. Cas had merely looked up at him, too blue eyes growing moist with what looked like tears, and if it wasn't the most heartbreaking thing he could imagine to see an angel cry he damn sure didn't know what was. And when he spoke his voice was deeper and clearer than Dean had ever heard before, even though it was only a whisper. "Raphael is dead."

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I'm not sure if I want to just leave it here or not…if anyone cares enough to read what happens next then I will gladly write a second installment, even if it is only one person. I love my readers that much. So enjoy and leave reviews. They make my day, honestly.


	2. What Now?

**A/N:** _So I was pretty much blown away by the response to this fic and I wished I could tell you all how much it meant to me, but I wrote it in Bio the day I left for Spring Break and had no internet access except for my phone all week. So I apologize for the long wait, but sincerely hope it was worth it!_

_I wanted to also take this opportunity, if you are reading this, to promote my page for Misha Collin's 'Hope to Haiti' project. I won't put the link here, but if you are interested just message me. I would also like to add that I am accepting donation offers in exchange for fics. If you have a short fic request that you've been dying to read then I would be more than happy to write it. I am even willing to expand beyond Destiel and write whatever you like (though I must admit if Wincest is your thing I'm not very good at writing it, doesn't mean I won't try, just a disclaimer) even other shows (you can look at my profile and choose if you would like) As you can see I'm whoring myself out for this so I hope I get some takers ;)) Anyway, I've rambled on enough. Please enjoy the fic and leave reviews (and requests/donations!)_

**Disclaimer: **_They are still not mine in any way shape or form! Eric Kripke and Sera Gamble are responsible for them, and I can only hope they takes very good care of them._

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**What Now?**

Dean stood frozen in place with an odd mixture of relief and terror shooting through him for what seemed like forever. And for a while, as girly as it sounded, the world kind of stood still as his eyes stared into the endless blue of Castiel's and for the first time his mind conjured up the image of the sky his friend hailed from being just as endlessly blue. And damn it must be the shock because he was pretty sure he didn't usually think pansy ass shit like that about people's eyes, and certainly not Cas'.

A few more eternities passed without movement before Dean would have been willing to swear Cas twitched. Even if after a few more seconds he was almost willing to concede it had been some trick of the light or his imagination when Cas made no other movements, not even pretending to breathe, which managed to be both freaky as hell and kind of amazing to see. Finally jerking his mind away from the fog that was threatening to settle as this staring contest went way beyond any they had ever had before, Dean spoke.

"Are you okay?" And what the hell? He had not meant to ask that. He meant to ask if it was really over, if they were safe, if they could stop being manipulated, lied to, decieved, and what the hell came next, not that. But for some reason standing there staring at his best friend covered in his own blood, looking way more exhausted than a fucking angel of the Lord should ever look it was the only question that really mattered. And damn he was probably going to have to think about exactly why that was later, but for now he was going to push it down and ignore it. That was the Winchester way.

Judging from the almost imperceptible flit of emotions that danced across Cas' features he hadn't really been expecting Dean to venture there either. After a moment a warm look entered his eyes, though Dean was pretty sure only he would have noticed the subtle shift in those inhumanly blue orbs, as he responded, "I am...tired, and I mourn the loss of my brother, but this was war and there was no other way for it to end. As for this body," as he spoke he glanced down with a look that Dean would have sworn was longing, "it will heal, but I believe I require rest."

As he finished speaking he merely sighed. Cas fucking sighed. Which really wouldn't have been as bad if his shirt wasn't so soaked with blood it was red, pouring out of a wound in his stomach that was beyond gruesome. As he looked at his friend he allowed the image of Jimmy to cross his mind for the briefest of moments. Was he gone now? Did he go off to his own personal heaven when Cas got blown up, or was he still there, strapped to Cas like a fly strapped to a nuclear warhead? He felt sorry for Jimmy, hell he felt like shit for the guy, he really did, but how bad of a person did it make him that he was glad he had said yes to Cas? How bad was it that he no longer saw Jimmy when looking into those eyes...he only saw Cas. Shaking himself from these way too fucking girly thoughts, and telling himself he's been spending too much time with Sammy, he clapped his hands and pulled Cas' attention away from the sky.

"Well, you can stay here. I'm sure Bobby won't be too pissed. Screw it, he probably will be, but that's just Bobby. If he wasn't acting like a crotchety old man then we would have reason to be worried as fuck."

Cas made a brief face that told Dean he did not exactly understand how worried and fuck went together but was too tired to question it. Instead he simply said, "I would appreciate that."

The look of pure gratefulness that he pierced Dean with after those words made him uncomfortable. Was Dean not the guy who had been cussing him out and yelling at him every time he had seen him for months now, and that after not seeing him for a whole damn year? And fuck, he knew it was going to come to this. Why? Because chick flick moments seem to reach out to him. Hello sissy ass moment, thy name is Dean Winchester.

"Hey, Cas?" he managed just as Cas had turned to start to walk toward the house. When he heard his name he faced Dean a question forming in his eyes.

"Yes, Dean."

"Look you know I don't do this whole apologizing shit because it is way too damn awkward, and I'm usually right, not to mention it's too fucking girly to even contemplate, but I want...well I need you to understand that I get it okay? Why you did what you did. I didn't like it, hell I still don't like it, and you damn sure better not try to do it again, but I get it was to protect us. Me and Sammy. And probably the whole world too, but I...well I'm sorry I gave you such a crappy time about it, it was just...yeah, anyway just thanks, Cas."

During most of this speech he had been making himself very well acquainted with his feet, but when he knew he couldn't avoid eye contact any longer he looked up and what he saw kind of surprised him. It was confusion, mixed with gratitude and something that Dean wasn't really sure he could discern...well he wasn't really sure he wanted to try at the moment.

"I...thank you, Dean. I apologize as well, for my lack of explanation but in the midst of war even chancing a brief reprieve can prove deadly."

And from the look in his eyes Dean knew he wasn't just apologizing for the one night, he was apologizing for everything. For not being there, for being to distracted, for being gone for a year. He was apologizing for it all and something about that made Dean feel like everything was going to work out.

"So what now? You the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy in your castle in the sky?" Dean smiled reaching out and wrapping an arm around Cas' shoulder as they made their way inside.

"I don't understand..." Cas began before a roaring laugh from Dean stopped him.

"Of course you don't."

"Dean."

"Okay, fine. I mean you the big man on campus now? Ruler of Heaven? Only sheriff in town?" he added the last part with a wink, and even though Cas was bleeding on his favorite AC/DC shirt, the small hint of an annoyed smile that popped up on his face made it all okay.

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_Continue? Stop. You decide. Thanks again for reading. I love each of you like Sammy loves research, or pulling the bitchface :))_

_Also letting you know all of my fics are un-beta'd so all mistakes (and I know there are plenty) are mine and I apologize profusely for them!  
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	3. A Very Human Response

**A/N:** _This is my first multi-chapter Destiel fic so I apologize if the updates are unsteady. I promise to try my best to have at least an update a week (unless I specify otherwise) and possibly more than that depending. Please take into account that I am a college student at the end of the semester who is busy writing 22 pages of content for midterms while trying to raise money for Haiti, which requires an astounding amount of time, energy, and patience. Please bear with me. That being said I am super glad you guys like the story so far and I'm very happy with this chapter so I hope you will be too! Without further ado, read!_

**Disclaimer:**_ It all still belongs to the Kripke._

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**A Very Human Response  
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Dean was still laughing when he and Cas arrived on the porch of Bobby's house, but the amount of blood belonging to said friend that was on his shirt was really starting to freak him the fuck out. Sure Cas was an angel, but losing that much blood couldn't be good for him. Why the hell hadn't he healed himself yet? It was at that moment a terrible thought struck Dean. What if..maybe he couldn't. Maybe he was going to die for real this time and God wasn't going to bring him back because he'd just killed the last remaining arch angel of Heaven. Shit what if Cas died and it was all his fault? And okay, yeah, Dean was kind of going into panic mode in his mind right now, but what the fuck was he supposed to do it was not like they had first aid for angels, or learning about your angel 101 classes he could take. This shit was trial and error.

They were standing right outside the door when Dean finally held out his arm to stop Cas from moving any further, and he considered it a testament to his time as a human that Cas knew Dean wanted him to stop walking. And when Cas looked up at him, those damn puppy dog eyes swimming with questions, he was suddenly really glad that they had stopped fighting because he might just feel like a grade A dick if he yelled at him right now. Of course, in hindsight, Dean should have known that wouldn't last for long, not with how on end they both were after the events of the past few days. And if Dean knew one thing it was that he did not handle being on end very well, especially not if other people were involved.

"Cas, you're not going to die are you?" he sputtered suddenly, wondering when his life had turned into such a damn needy chick-flick moment just waiting to happen.

"Not today, Dean," his friend responded cocking his head to the side and looking at Dean as though that were an odd question and he couldn't quite understand the look of concern marring Dean's features. As though he wasn't the one standing there bleeding through that damn trench coat he never seemed to take off.

"Dude, could you just act human for like a second?" Dean stated getting more frustrated than he knew the situation called for, but honestly what the fuck was with Cas lately.

"I'm not human."

"I know that, dammit! But you were once and I'm standing here like some goddamn girl trying to ask if you are about to abandon me with no fucking chance of coming back this time so can you stop with the dick angel bit and and just be Cas, I've had enough of this new and improved you to last a lifetime!" he ended up raising his voice an octave or two higher then he meant, but managed to bring it back down to a horse whisper so Bobby and Sam wouldn't come and ask questions. So much for not being a dick to Cas. At least he deserved it this time.

Castiel sighed as though he were talking to a petulant child but finally responded, "I was wounded by an angel blade, it was a...close call, you might say but I managed to use it to my advantage and kill Raphael," and damn Dean for feeling a little sad at how broken his voice sounded at that admission, "as you know an angel blade is intended to kill angels so the wounds are more difficult to heal, though not impossible. I simply require a few days rest away from Heaven in order to call my grace to full power and heal myself. As for being a 'dick angel' _(and he was using air quotes again...awesome)_ I will not apologize any longer for my actions. I have explained it was _war_, Dean. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but the rules of common courtesy don't always apply."

And the venom in his voice pissed Dean off even more. He was the one who had a right to be pissed that Cas had left him. That after the Apocalypse he suddenly wasn't deemed important enough to bother with anymore. He was the one who had been abandoned.

"Yeah, well, Cas, humans need some damn common courtesy from time to time. I get that it was war, you know contrary to what everyone believes I'm not a fucking idiot, but we were sitting here with our thumbs up our asses the whole time not having a clue what to do and waiting for our friend, _Cas, _and instead the only one who ever came was dick angel number three, you going to bother apologizing for _that_?"

And Dean didn't really know why he was bothering he couldn't make Cas understand why he felt so abandoned, he didn't know if he could make himself understand why he felt like such shit, he just knew he was upset and lashing out because that is how he dealt with this kind of emotional situation. He avoided and lashed out and regretted it. It's just how he worked. If Cas knew him at all anymore he should know that.

Cas sighed, "No, though I do implore you to understand my actions and reactions were necessary and that I have been away from humanity, without observation of it, for a very long time. You may not recall, but time works very differently in Heaven than it does on Earth."

"Oh believe me I remember Heaven pretty damn well, Cas. Oh and I know just how long you were all angel in the outfield on me. Maybe _you _don't give a shit, but you happened to leave the night my fucking brother died!" and by this point over a years worth of anger and resentment and hurt was bubbling to the surface and he couldn't even fucking try to keep it down or to care anymore. Sam and Bobby would probably burst through the door any minute wondering what all the damn yelling was about, but he was so damn past the point of giving a shit right now.

"How dare you accuse me of not recognizing and caring about the sacrifice your brother made. I mourned for him every day. Sam is a hero," and the anger and weird sense of pride that was radiating from the angels voice at those words only caused to twist the knife in a little deeper.

"I never once thought you didn't care about _Sam_!" Dean spat and watched as confusion crossed Cas' face. He vaguely registered Sam and Bobby's muffled voices as the door slammed open, but he simply turned around yelled, "you deal with this shit," leapt off the porch, jumped into the Impala and drove, suddenly feeling the need to get as far away from the Singer house as was humanly possible.

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_I'm actually very happy with this chapter, so I hope you guys are too :)) I'm thinking the next chapter will be Sam and Bobby helping Cas disect why Dean is so pissed at him, sound good? If you think so please review, they honestly make my day so much fucking better!_


	4. Much Ado About Nothing

**A/N: **_Seriously, there are no words that can explain how awesome all of you are for reading this story. It's like your reviews are little tiny Castiel's that never fail to bring a smile to my face. This chapter is told from Castiel's POV (since Dean isn't there) and just an FYI that nerd angel is almost impossible for me to write. I sit and think for a ridiculously long time about if it even makes sense coming out of his mouth, so I hope he is in character and if he isn't please don't persecute me for it. Well this is getting crazy long so, as Kim Manners would say, "Let's kick it in the ass."_

**Disclaimer: **_As always Kripke is the puppeteer of these beautiful creations and I am merely playing with them while he's off deciding who he wants to kill next._

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**Much Ado About Nothing**

Castiel stared after Dean for what seemed to be a ridiculously long amount of time, but in reality was more likely than not a matter of mere seconds, a minute at the most, it isn't like time was something he ever paid much attention to before Dean Winchester came into his life.

To say Castiel was confused would likely be the understatement of the century. He understood that Dean was angry and lashing out, it was just what Dean did. He had come to accept that as an annoying, albeit necessary part of knowing the man and since his good qualities far outweighed his bad he compromised in regards to this particular one. Though at the moment he couldn't really understand exactly why Dean was so upset. That bothered him. The anger he could understand, the slight panic he heard in his words he could even sort of begin to fathom, but the pain in those green eyes as he had stalked off was…troublesome. He was at a complete loss as to the cause of it which upset him because though he had been away from Dean for some time and was still adjusting to re-entering the strange customs humans were so fond of, he thought that he knew him well enough to understand his emotions, even if he didn't always agree with them.

During this brief exploration of his thoughts he could hear Sam and Bobby fidgeting near him. Knew their questions were directed to his apparently disturbingly bloody form. He could feel the shock and worry emanating from them and was oddly comforted by the fact that their worry, however brief it may be, was directed at him. He wondered when he had started letting the opinions of these particular humans matter so much to him, but was able to put this and the confusion he felt toward Dean on the back burner for a moment to focus on the men at hand.

" Cas? Can you hear me? Are you okay, we heard shouting? What's wrong?"

He sighed briefly. Sam had a knack for asking way more questions than one was able to answer in a single breath. After thinking of just how different he could be from Dean at times he responded, "I heard you, Sam. I am...I will be fine. Dean, however, appears to be…upset," he took a deep breath and momentarily glanced down at his blood stained hands, wondering how they…he could have done something so awful as killing Heaven's last remaining, free, arch angel. He allowed himself to wonder if his Father would be able to forgive him for such a grievous crime against his own brother. He wondered if he'd ever be able to forgive himself. No matter his reasons, no matter Raphael's crimes, he still felt and overwhelming sense of grief. He still mourned his brother. When he looked up at Sam, he could see the silent question in his eyes, the way he had pieced it all together, knew what it all this must meant. He was merely waiting on confirmation of his suspicions; validation of his beliefs.

He felt his voice crack again as he relayed the same message to them he did to Dean, "Raphael is dead." He wondered if there would ever be a time when admitting it out loud would cause a smaller ache in his heart. He silently prayed there wouldn't, and that his Father still cared enough to listen to his prayers.

Sam had actually reeled back at the news, it was the kind of moment he imagined would happen on one of those ridiculous cartoons he had caught Dean watching, but that Dean had sworn ever since he had only been channel surfing. Castiel wasn't entirely sure what that expression meant, but he was fairly certain that watching a program from start to finish didn't qualify.

Bobby's expression was a mirror of the one Sam had. It was shock and awe mixed with relief, if he was reading it correctly, which would make sense. They had just averted one apocalypse that had cost Sam his soul, temporarily it turned out, but he doubted any of them were ready to face another.

He was torn from his thoughts when Bobby stated, "Well, why don't you come on in and do something about them clothes. No offense, boy, but you look like something that Death himself would want to steer clear of."

"Thank you," he almost smiled his voice low and full of exhaustion, but he really meant it. He wanted Bobby to understand just how much his help and welcome meant to him, but he had been around the man long enough to know that pretty much everything Dean had learned about disliking moments where you share your feelings, which were apparently called chick-flick for a reason he did not even want to begin to try and contemplate, stemmed from him. So it was better to just say thank you in a humble and meaningful tone and leave it at that.

As he walked past a mirror hanging on the wall he chanced a glance at his reflection and had to admit it was somewhat disconcerting. If he had not known for certain he was going to live, he would have questioned it himself. Suddenly Dean's earlier question held a lot more merit and meaning. As his mind drifted toward Dean, yet again, he expanded his grace to see if he could sense where exactly he was. He knew the attempt would prove futile, as the sigils carved into Dean's chest would never allow an angel to discern his exact location without being prayed to he attempted it anyway, but felt no surprise when he was as clueless to Dean's location as before.

He was once again torn out of his pondering but this time by an article of clothing hitting him across the face. When he looked up he saw Sam watching him with curiosity and sheepishness. He could tell from his expression he had so many more questions to ask. That he wanted to know if he was okay, what had happened, what was going to happen next and a litany of other things he wasn't positive he could answer? But Sam held back. Castiel knew if Dean had been there he wouldn't have. He would have just jumped right in alongside his brother, but he thinks something about the way Dean had stormed off the porch let Sam know that now was not the time to ask questions or at least not without getting a hold of his brother first. A part of him was grateful for that, he did not know if he could handle discussing the details, and a small part of him, a part he wasn't really ready to admit was there yet, knew he wanted Dean to be there for that conversation. Perhaps even alone.

Sam coughed and said, "Umm so there is gauze in the bathroom closet, all we could find that will probably fit you is some of Dean's clothes, sorry about that by the way. Do you need help with the shower?" And when he was done talking Sam actually looked up into his eyes and he knew right away that Sam found this to be an extremely awkward conversation, though exactly why, Castiel did not know. Regardless, he appreciated the effort everyone was making on his behalf.

"These will be fine. I know how to work a shower too, so do not worry and thank you," he smiled hoping to ease the young man. Sam smiled, looked at him for a moment as though there was something he desperately wanted to say and then simply turned on his heels and walked out of the room.

This was his first experience taking a human shower, but he recalled a particular instance in which he had appeared behind Dean as he was preparing one and therefore understood the basic concept of it. He was also aware that humans, or Dean at least, found anyone else witnessing this act not only taboo but extremely disturbing. He had called him a "creeper angel" and though he was not positive what that meant the tone of annoyance that had come along with that statement left him to conclude it was not a good thing. Remembering all of this he shut the door and even locked it, shedding off his blood stained clothes before folding them and setting them in a neat pile on the closed toilet seat. Once he was completely uninhibited he turned toward the mirror. The wounds on his stomach and chest were already showing the first signs of healing and upon further examination he realized that Raphael had not injured him as much as his clothes had made it appear. He seemed to have underestimated the extent to which the blood on his clothing belonged to his brother. And for the first time in his long life he was actually glad at the prospect of taking a shower. Happy at the metaphorical implications of washing himself clean in every sense of the word.

After a bit of fiddling around with the water he found an appropriate temperature and stepped under the hot spray. He found it immediately relaxing in a way he had not been expecting. He could understand why humans wished to feel this every day. It felt like being in the middle of a rainstorm that drowned out the world beyond, leaving one alone to think. As he stood under the onslaught of water he lifted his blood stained hands and watched as the water washed the last remaining smudges free. He then worked his hands into his face and hair, feeling rather than seeing the red disappear from it as well. He noticed a few cuts and scrapes on his arms and one on his lip that he surmised would be gone before the night was over.

When he finally gathered up the courage he looked at the five deep gashes that covered his stomach and lower chest and the way the water made the blood run. And suddenly he was back in the moment it all happened.

_Castiel was kneeled down before Raphael blood everywhere and finding it unnaturally difficult to concentrate. It wasn't supposed to end like this. He had the weapons of Heaven, he still served his Father, he hadn't been able to say goodbye to the Winchesters…Dean was angry with him and would never understand. For the briefest of moments he wondered if Dean would even care or notice his departure. He wanted to believe he would. That he would be at least a fraction as upset of losing him as he would be losing Bobby or someone he considered a friend, but he wasn't positive and that seemed an awful thing to die not knowing, not knowing if you were leaving anyone behind to miss you; to mourn you. He was snapped out of this thought when a flash of lighting sounded to his left._

"_This is the end for you, Castiel, and perhaps for those beloved humans of yours. Have you got anything to say?"_

"_Please, Raphael," and at this point he wasn't even sure what he was begging for. To spare him? To spare humanity? To spare the makeshift family he had built on Earth?_

"_It is your own fault, brother. You are responsible for all of this. You deviated from His plan. You betrayed us all. And for what? To be the obedient lapdog to a couple of rebellious humans? You have to know that you deserve this. You have to know this is the only way." And for a moment Castiel could have sworn that this decision was as hard on his brother as it was on him. Neither wanted to kill the other, but this was a battle neither would back down from, leaving death the only victor. _

"_His plan? How are you even sure it is His plan anymore? Do you honestly believe that this is what our Father wants? He loves humanity, he doesn't want to see them destroyed! You have to see that. There is a right and there is a wrong here, Raphael, and you know it. You know it!" he countered, repeating the words that Dean had muttered to him a few short years ago, words that carried a deep impact, words that had changed everything. He wondered if it wasn't the words themselves but the man who spoke them that had made them valid. If it was Dean, rather than humanity he had longed to save in that moment. And how bad of an angel did it make him if he admitted it was the former?_

_Raphael merely smirked, "You're one to talk about right and wrong, Castiel, after everything you have done."_

"_I was protecting our Father's most precious creations. I feel certain he will not judge me harshly for that." And even though it was only a half truth, Castiel found he believed it._

"_Precisely. You are an angel; you are not supposed to feel anything. Not in the same way they do. Our Father created us different than them for a reason. Do you really __**feel**__ (and he said that word with every ounce of venom he possessed) he would approve of your relationship with them?" _

"_Yes," and he did. Castiel loved humanity for who they truly were. He saw these beautiful, flawed, curious, compassionate, and caring beings. He understands why his Father loves them so and wishes all other angels would as well. And if he felt this love a bit stronger for a small group of humans in particular, well, he didn't feel his Father would fault him for that either._

"_Why do you wish to die without a clear conscience? He will not bring you back this time. This is really the end for you."_

"_If it is then I will die with a clear conscience. I still serve God, my mind and grace are at peace," and he was a little bit shocked at how much truth was in these words. There were things he would undoubtedly regret. Failing the Winchesters, failing humanity, failing Dean, but suddenly his mind flashed back to a gruff voice saying, "If there is anything worth dying for, this is it," and you know what, in that moment there was nothing he believed more.  
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_And it's a damn filler…frowny face. Sorry guys, I was hoping for some Bobby/Cas/Sam interaction in this chapter too, but they are slow and stubborn and I guess Cas felt his side of the story needed to be told and…well…don't mess with the nerd angels, remember? Anyway, I'm hoping to reign the boys back in and have the Sam/Cas/Bobby chat in the next chapter, but to get from here to there I need some reviews, if you don't mind. _


	5. Teach An Old Angel New Tricks

**A****/****N**_**:** OMG it FINALLY let me post again *does happy dance* I'm so incredibly sorry it took so long to update, this has been written for over a week, but I couldn't update so here and please enjoy it! Also I had forgotten that Cas has probably taken a shower, since he was human for a bit, but for the sake of this story we're going to go ahead and pretend he didn't, alright?_

**Disclaimer**_: I wish they were mine, alas they are not!_

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**Teach An Old Angel New Tricks**

Castiel was torn from his thoughts for what seemed like the millionth time that day by the sound of something loud occurring downstairs followed by a brief bout of cussing, something he had learned was an appropriate Winchester reaction in most any given situation. For once he was grateful for the reprieve from his thoughts it allowed. His...emotions, were all too raw and close to the surface, which was something that was foreign and different. He had not felt quite so human since, well, since he had been one and that was a disconcerting thought in and of itself.

There was no reason for this, he was even further away from human than when he had first met the Winchesters and there wasn't even a speck of the man formerly known as Jimmy Novak residing in this vessel. It upset him in a way that was impossible to understand, let alone hope to articulate. He knew he wasn't falling, he recalled what that felt like and this was different, but equally as mysterious.

Turning off the shower and stepping out slowly he dried himself off with a towel. This was another strange sensation that he was not entirely sure he wished to get used to. Noticing the bandage that Sam had spoken of he walked toward the counter and carefully covered himself with it, like he had seen the brothers do so many times before. When this was finished he noticed his usual attire and felt himself gravitating toward it before he recalled that his grace was not yet sufficient in healing it and it would be both painful and uncomfortable to walk around in clothes stained so recently, so permanently by his brothers blood.

Feeling somewhat strange he picked up the clothing he was meant to wear and found unmistakable hints of Dean clinging to almost every inch of it. The smell alone was so distinct it made him feel it inappropriate to mix with his own. For some reason it felt like an invasion of privacy to wear clothes that not only smelled of Dean, but carried other markers that made them unequivocally his. The slightly worn color and tear of the jeans from days and nights spent hunting, the soft feel of the overly worn fabric on the shirt that bore the emblem of a band he recalled as one of Dean's favorites. Led Zeppelin. He had heard a few of their songs at Dean's urging. He specifically recalled one named, "Stairway to Heaven." Dean had laughed and said he knew that it would be his favorite.

Shaking himself from these thoughts and knowing that clothes were necessary to make humans feel more comfortable when conversing with each other he slipped them on, trying his best not to focus on the feeling of comfort the idea of having Dean surrounding him brought. Feeling like maybe he could find solace in the courage and unyielding faith of the man who they belonged to, a man he was proud to call his friend. When he allowed him to, of course. The clothing was a surprisingly good fit, though the pants were a tad bit longer than the dress ones Jimmy wore. Considering Dean was taller than Jimmy had been it made sense. The jeans fell over his bare feet, an odd sensation he recalled from his time as a human, but not an entirely unpleasant one. Seeing no imminent need for shoes he made his way down the stairs, following the sound of voices into the kitchen. Upon his entrance both men fell silent and Sam smiled, laughing a little before Bobby cut him off with a sharp look.

"Well, you look a hell of a lot better, son. Maybe we should get you out of that damn trench coat more often," Bobby joked. There was a moment of silence before he continued, "so do you happen to know what crawled up Dean's ass and died?"

Castiel recognized the human reference, but was unable to place it's exact meaning. He was about to voice this when Sam huffed and explained, "What he means is what's wrong with Dean? Did you guys have a fight or something?"

He sighed, "Dean is upset with me, yes, though I am unsure as to the exact cause of his anger this time."

Sam laughed and shook his head, "Yeah, no one ever really is, we just kind of go with it."

Bobby gave him a stern look, his concern for the elder brother shining through in all of his features.

Castiel decided to elaborate, "He was not angry when I first appeared, he was...surprisingly kind. I believe he got upset when I told him I wasn't human and therefore couldn't act like it."

"That's it? Just that you weren't human, because no offense, we've known that since...well since before Dean even met you," he looked skeptical, which Castiel found a bit odd considering the fact that it was not uncommon for Dean to be easily angered and sometimes with no real provocation at all.

He sighed and tried to explain," I told him I would no longer apologize for the actions I was forced to take in battle. He said I was being a 'dick angel' and then alluded to knowing time was different in Heaven because I left the night you died. I thought he was doubting my acknowledgment of your sacrifice, Sam, which I don't. I am very proud of what you did and told him such and then he said he had never felt doubt about whether or not I cared for you. After that he simply turned around and left."

Sam and Bobby looked at him as though he had just uncovered some great mystery, though what that could possibly be he had no idea, he was no closer to understanding Dean's incessantly baffling behavior than before and exhaustion was beginning to set in.

"Well this shit is getting a little too Lifetime Original Movie for my tastes, so I'll just, go," and with that Bobby stood up and left the room.

Sam merely laughed and patted him on the back, "Lucky for you, I speak Dean fluently," he took a deep breath then, smile slipping from his face when he said, "Cas, Dean thinks you don't care about him."

He sat there for a moment completely stunned. Surely Sam was wrong. There was no possible way that Dean could feel that way, not after everything. He voiced his concerns, "That is impossible. After everything we have been through together, after everything I have given up, it would be illogical of him to think that way."

"Yeah well feelings aren't always logical, Cas. You have to look at it from his perspective. You didn't really give all those things up for Dean, you gave them up for humanity and then after the Apocalypse ended you left, didn't say bye and I think for Dean that was like being, you know, abandoned. Like maybe he hadn't mattered as much as the big picture had. And, I mean, I know it's kind of stupid but he never really felt like he was worth it anyway, like he deserved to be saved so I think a part of him was waiting for you to leave, for the other shoe to drop and so when you left and it did he felt like you confirmed what he thought of himself. That he's just a lost cause and eventually everyone leaves him."

"But I came back. So did you."

Even as he spoke the words he was beginning to comprehend what Sam was saying. He should have known that all along. Of course Dean would feel that way, his whole life had been one giant race in seeing who could abandon Dean the fastest, but how could he think Cas would be included in that group? How could he have let himself be? Surely Dean was able to see that he, as well as Sam and Bobby, were the only friends he had ever truly had, certainly he knew how much they meant to him. He gave up Heaven because he believed in Dean and his cause, how did he not understand the importance, the difficulty of such a sacrifice?

"Yeah, but even when you came back you weren't you. Not the you Dean needed you to be anyway, not the nerdy little angel who he would never admit he considered his best friend. You know and I know it's ridiculous for him to feel that way, hell he probably knows it too, but he's never really made a lot of lasting friendships outside of the family for various reasons and he's never really understood his own self worth, so his default is to just to give in and give up."

"Well how do I fix it? What would he have me do?"

"I don't know, Cas. Just talk to him, okay? Even if he doesn't want to, which I'm sure he won't. Just make him listen, let him know that he can be the biggest dick this side of Heaven and you won't go away, you won't abandon him. Dean has to know you're making an effort or he won't bother."

And with that he gave him one last pat on the shoulder, stood up, and left. At that moment a myriad of emotions and thoughts jumped around inside his head and they all centered on one word. Dean.

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_Random note, why are they always in Bobby's kitchen in fanfics? I'm not judging because obviously they are there in mine too, but I wonder why everyone gravitates toward it? I guess whenever they are at his house they are in the kitchen *shrugs* Anyway I'M SO FREAKING SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, please leave reviews...I've been so long without them! Also again apologizing for the awful characterizations of Cas in this fic, I told you he is hard for me to write (I feel like I get him in his thoughts, but putting his thoughts into words that he would actually say is where I lose him) REVIEWS ARE LOVE :))_


	6. Philosophical Shit

_**A/N**: I cannot even express to you guys how happy it makes me to see reviews or even more so how completely and throughly thrilled I am when I see that you like the charicterization of Cas! Seriously, you have no idea how much I fret while writing him. Erasing and rewriting passages until they seem at least somewhat plausible as having escaped his mind, let alone his mouth! I love each of you as much as Dean loves the Impala (Yes, THAT much!) Back to Dean's POV for this chapter so be prepared for more cussing and in general Dean Winchester like behavior. Thank you so much for keeping up with this story and as always, enjoy._

_**Disclaimer**: I only keep putting this because I'd rather not get sued before I have the chance to create my own characters that I only hope people love half as much as I do these foolish boys. As always Kripke is running this show, I'm just along for the ride._

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**Philosophical** **Shit**

Dean was sitting on the hood of the Impala, an almost-completely-not-cold-at-all beer dripping condensation on his hand as he stared up at the star filled sky above him. A chuckle escaping when he realized that he was staring at the sky to forget about an angel, he knew even Cas would appreciate the irony of that. But it was his coping mechanism. Well one of them, aside from alcoholism and random spurts of violence this is what he did when he had to get away. He and Sammy used to it all the time. Just drive and park somewhere, usually the middle of some small ass town in the middle of some random ass state. They would find a dirt road, park his baby on the side overlooking a vast expanse of nothing, sometimes this nothing had random objects such as hay-bells in it, sometimes cows, more often than not thought it just had grass and trees and sky. Or that's what he remembered. That and feeling incredibly small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. He kind of missed that. Being able to just look up at the sky and think about the vast expanse of space and the billions of the people on the planet and feel like maybe he was responsible for them, responsible for their safekeeping from the monsters that go bump in the night, think that maybe he mattered to a few lost souls; to Sam. But this. Knowing he mattered to the whole fucking world was crazy and incomprehensible and though he might never admit it out loud, kind of really fucking amazing.

Sure he still hated being singled out, still didn't understand why him? Why his family? Cas used to spout some shit about destiny and his purpose, he wondered if he still believed anything he had in the early days. Days when he was just another dick angel, days when he was still Castiel. He himself had wondered, for a brief time, if there was salvation for him, for a man like him. He had secretly hoped for it, in the deepest most secluded part of his brain that he rarely allowed himself to visit. The part of his brain that had hoped, had prayed, thanked and cursed a God that he wasn't entirely convinced existed and more likely than not didn't even give a shit.

He'd said he wasn't the praying type before, and damned it that had changed when a garrison of angels showed up at his doorstep. Hell, if anything it made him less likely to pray, knowing the assclowns that would be receiving those prayers, but during that year without Sam there were times when the pain came so quickly and gripped him so tightly the only thing his brain could seem to conjure up was prayer. He had considered praying to Cas, knew he'd listen and maybe one day appear out of nowhere and try to comfort Dean in his own 'I know what is wrong with you but have no clue how to help kind of way, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Cas had abandoned him, and not in the way Sammy or his dad or the countless others who had never looked back had, but in a way that was completely unique to that damn nerd angel. Because he'd never been willingly left by someone he wasn't convinced would eventually come back.

Dean's reprieve was disrupted by the sound of an owl in the distance. Creepy freaking animals if you asked him, but Sam would keep one as a pet if he could, if that one random trip to the zoo as kids was any indication. And damn when had he started thinking about such philosophical shit? Clearly another sign Bigfoot was rubbing off on him way too damn much. It was just his luck that the people who he spent most of his time with would be a Sasquatch who acted like a girl, a crotchety old man, and a socially awkward angel, he'd be amazed if he ever managed to get laid again with this crowd. And to think he'd been sitting here thinking about how his life was complicated and shit, what he should really be doing is wondering how in the hell he wasn't in a mental institution right now.

Which led his mind back to what he had been avoiding thinking about. That damn angel. How could he not understand why Dean was pissed? Okay granted he wasn't exactly human, he got that, he really did, but he had been once and he kind of assumed it was an experience you didn't forget no matter how long you were off being some kind of celestial light, or whatever it was that Cas had fussily said with all those damn air-quotes. He had cared about the world once, about humanity and his damn absentee father, had cared about their makeshift band of rebellion, what was it they had said? Team Free Will? So how come he didn't get it? He knew if Sammy was here he'd be spouting some shit about how even though Cas was an angel who wasn't supposed to feel emotions he was the emotionally stunted one, which Dean knew but really it was just on that list of shit that he didn't admit to out loud. He preferred letting things fester until they had to be resolved, until they reached a boiling point and he couldn't ignore it anymore, which is kind of what happened earlier. Turns out over a year of feeling like shit and wondering and thinking and hoping and praying and hating and cussing and every damn other emotion that a human could possibly feel took it's tole after all, but the pathetic thing was he knew it only hit the tip of the Titanic sized iceberg (Yay!, reference to a soon to be new episode) of shit he was feeling, but he wasn't Sam so being open and honest about his feelings didn't really come easily to him. Hell, that wasn't how either of them was raised, his brother must have picked it up from watching chick flicks, the girl.

The thing was he wanted to tell Cas how he was feeling because, and damn he didn't even like admitting this in his head, maybe then they could go back to being how they were before. Well he'd try to be more grateful for what Cas had given up for them, acknowledge that he made a sacrifice too. Hell he might even admit that Cas is his best friend and no matter what shit he says or how much he makes fun of him for it every time he doesn't get a reference, cocks his head to the side, or does something ridiculous like actually contemplate God being on a flat bread it makes Dean feel so much better, makes him laugh. That Cas makes his life better for being in it, that someone on Earth genuinely cares about him and was rooting for him to win, not because he was scared of what would have happened to the world if he didn't, but because he was scared about what would of happened to him if he didn't. Of course, he'd have to be drunk as fuck to admit that out loud. That or maybe if Cas stared at him long enough, sometimes he was pretty damn sure there was something about an angel's eyes that could hypnotize the shit out of people (he generally ignored the little voice in his head telling him that no other angels eyes had affected him the way Cas' had).

The unmistakable flutter of wings broke him out of his trance and when he looked down from the stars standing in front of him with that same quizzical look on his face was Cas.

"What the hell, Cas? How did you know where I was?"

"Sam informed me where he believed you would be. We need to talk."

"What? You're about to break up with me?" Dean deadpanned, but the quizzical look that was shot his way he decided against joking right now, he was too frustrated as it was.

"Never mind, what are you doing here," and he had just noticed what he was wearing and what the hell? It briefly fluttered across his mind that Cas looked right somehow in his clothes, but also so incredibly weird without that billowing trench coat," and what the hell are you wearing?"

"I apologize if it upsets you that I'm wearing your clothes, but mine were...dirty and I very much wished to be rid of all that blood."

"It's fine, but that still only answers one question."

"Like I said, we need to talk."

Dean sighed, damn he swore it was worse trying to pry shit out of Cas than it was out of him, but he wasn't entirely sure he felt like opening the floodgates just yet so he just scooted over on the hood of the Impala and went back to looking at the sky, Cas would talk when he was ready he guessed. Turns out ready came a lot sooner than he expected.

"I love you, Dean."

Dean spit out the beer that he had just started drinking and spun to look at the guy who had somehow become his best friend. Of all the things he had been expecting Cas to say, that honestly had not been anywhere on the list.

"Come again."

Cas furrowed his brow in that way that reminded Dean of this really adorable picture of some celebrities blue eyed baby he had seen in one of Sam's magazines. He thought he remembered the kid being named West, which was weird, but hell so were celebrities.

"Sam believes that you are upset with me because you feel that I abandoned you, deeming you unworthy and un-cared for. He stated that you were scared that I would abandon you as others had in the past and that I should make you talk by telling you how I feel, and though I'm still learning to discern emotions I feel that love is the appropriate response to the emotions that occur when you are around. I do not wish for any harm to come to you, I enjoy your company more than most, I feel safe with you, you make me smile and feel...content. You are kind and brave, an incredible brother..."

"Cas..."

"Sam said you would try to stop me, but to insist that you let me finish. I'm allowed to threaten you with bodily harm, but I'd rather not," he said casting a firm gaze in Dean's direction and for the briefest of moments Dean remembered that while Cas may be his friend he is still a badass angel, hell arch angel-almost now, of the Lord and learning that lesson through a beating once was enough so he just looked down, "and you have the most beautiful soul I have ever laid my eyes on. And, Dean, you may not understand the significance of that, but I do. Even in hell your soul shone brighter than any I'd ever seen. You are a good man, a righteous man, Dean Winchester. A hero. And even though you have many doubts regarding my family, and at times, me, I have full faith in your family and in you. If that is not love than I'm at a loss as to what is."

And damn if that didn't take almost all of the fight out of Dean. He'd been ready to fight, to yell, to cuss, to explain, to try and combat all these conflicting emotions into one stream of consciousness that would make sense to somebody, but now he didn't know what to say? How do you yell at a guy who just told you that you and the people that you loved were special to him. How do you get mad at your best friend when he just told you he loved you?

"Cas, I don't know what to say."

"All I require is the truth."

Dean sighed, he was about to have a huge fucking chick-flick moment, too bad Sammy was going to miss this one, he'd have enjoyed making fun of him for years to come he's sure.

"Alright. Bear with me, Cas, because I sure as hell don't know what to say after that, hell I had no idea what to say before that. Sammy was right, I guess. I mean I felt like shit after you left, partly because well, my brother was in hell and that was...knowing that and not being able to do shit about it was, well unbearable, but part of it was also because of everything else I'd lost when I lost Sam. I lost the only life I'd ever known, the only family I'd ever been close to having, and I lost the only real friend I'd ever had. I know that I gave most of that shit up, and I don't know if I'd still be sitting here if I had stayed in that life because all I would have thought about was how I broke my promise and how Sam wasn't there and he should be. But I didn't give you up, you gave me up and I think that is what was hard about dealing with your shit, knowing that you left. I felt like you had made this unconscious promise to me to always have my back, no matter how deep shit got that you'd always be there and then when Zach put me in that fucked up alternate universe shit in 2014...you were there, just you, Cas. The only one who had stuck with me until the end and I sent you to your death and you knew it, I could see from the look in your eyes that you damn well knew it, but you went anyway because it was me that was asking you to. And maybe it's fucked up, I know it probably is but I was happy about that in a way because it meant that you hadn't given up on me, that someone still had faith in me. Remember when I came back and asked you never to change, well I meant it. I like you, stick up your ass, weird tan trench coat that kind of makes you look like a flasher, awkward sense of humor and all, but mostly I think I like the way that when it comes to you I always kind of felt like it didn't matter how bad I messed everything up you were going to be there, with that damn questioning look or cocked head making sure I was okay."

He chanced a glance at Cas before he continued, but it was a little too dark for Dean to try and decipher his poker face from this vantage.

"Look I know how selfish that sounds, and fuck it probably is really selfish, but it's how I felt. So when you left it hurt, it felt like maybe you had finally gotten a clue. Like maybe you finally understood that I wasn't worth it, because I'm not, Cas. I'm not. I'm even more fucked up now than I've ever been. More confused, more anxious, more freaked out. And I see Sammy, or Bobby, or you and all of you guys you make me want to try and be the guy that you see when you look at me, but I just feel like no matter what I'm going to fail and screw everything up and sooner or later y'all will all realize that you could do better without me. So I believe you when you say that you care about me, Cas, but I just wonder if that will be enough to make you stick around the next time something major happens with your family."

Dean felt a tear he hadn't realized was in his eye fall as he blinked and turned toward Cas again, this time the moon was shining on him and he swore he could read something akin to adoration, admiration, and pain in those sky blue orbs. He reached up a finger to brush Dean's tear away and damn if he didn't feel like some girl in a romantic comedy, not that he watched those and knew what that would look like he was just ball-parking it.

"May I speak again, Dean?"

"Gees, Cas, you don't have to ask."

"I would have never left had I know that it would spark this reaction from you. Of course I will always be there for you. And those aren't just words, Dean. I know people have said those exact words to you and betrayed you in the past, but that is not me and that is not what is going to happen here. We are friends and that means more to me than you will ever know. I didn't give up on you, I didn't walk away from our bond, just from this physical plane and it wasn't by choice. Like I have told you before much of the time I would rather be here. This past year and a half were unbearable for me, Dean. I spent most of it in seclusion trying to rally forces, fending off near constant attacks by Raphael and his numerous followers. My mission was to garner as much support for the human cause as was possible, but many angels rebelled after I did and many did not share the same...honorable intentions. It was difficult to rally followers, even more difficult to convince people to fight for a new order when the old one has been held in place so long. There were many times when I felt that death was imminent. I visited you once, in my true form which I shielded from human eyes for obvious reasons. You were with...Lisa and the boy, you seemed maybe not happy, but as close as I could imagine you being under the circumstances. I did not wish to take that away from you. It seems a poor excuse now, I could feel your soul crying out to Sam, crying out to be loved, but there was nothing I could do to reassure you when I had barely managed to visit you without being caught and killed. I know the war in Heaven means little to you so it probably seems inconsequential, but those are my brothers and sisters that I have spent so long now hunting. I begged them to see reason, but many felt I was as bad as Lucifer, perhaps worse. I cannot blame them, we were always taught disobedience was the grandest offense we could commit against our Father. I fear however that I am, what do you say...ramblogging?"

"Rambling," Dean laughed, "It's rambling, Cas. And why didn't you tell me any of this before?"

"Did you ever stop yelling long enough to listen?"

"True, sorry I'm such a selfish dick. I know that doesn't really even begin to cover it but...I really am, sorry, that is. And you're wrong. About the war in Heaven not meaning anything to me. Maybe by itself it doesn't, but as an extension of you it does. I get that it is hard for you, Cas, and I wish I could have helped."

"You couldn't have, but the sentiment is appreciated nonetheless."

"Thanks, Cas, and really I am sorry, you know, for being...me?"

"That is quite alright."

And for the first time since Cas got back, he felt like they might really be friends again and it felt better than it had any right to.

"Ohh and Cas just so you know, but don't tell anybody, Iloveyoutoo." he mumbled really quickly almost hoping the angel hadn't heard him, but when he looked at the beaming man sitting next to him he figured that was a lost cause.

"I'm happy to hear that, Dean...may I ask why my stomach feels like I'm flying?"

Yeah, it felt damn good to have Cas back by his side. Really damn good. He threw an arm around the angel and opened the passenger side door for him to hop in.

"You're happy, Cas, just plain old happy."

"I like this feeling."

"Me too."

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_So I totally just realized that last chapter is the first time I've ever tried to write Sammy :O How have I not written him before...maybe I should try a Sabriel fic, but I don't know if I can do that? Was Sammy believable? I thought it was believable, but I'm curious, did you? Anyway enough of this random tangent, I tend to babble (as if you hadn't noticed in this fic!) but my point is hope you liked it...am I forgetting something? Ohh yes, please review :))_

_BTW, I don't think this is the last chapter, there is more left between these boys, I just need to figure out where they go from here._


	7. Author's Note

**A/N:** I was perusing my fics and realized that I said this one wasn't finished. I re-read it and that is inaccurate. I think the fic has run its course and is finished. I remember I wanted to incorporate Gabriel being brought back into it somehow, but then it just didn't seem to be where the characters wanted to go. That being said, I hope you all really enjoyed it while it was around and I'm sorry that I said there was more and there isn't.

However, this is by no means my last Destiel fic! I have a good idea about another one, but will wait until the episode about Cas airs next week to actually write it, because I want to be accurate. In the meantime I'm considering posting a short-ish one shot about the last episode (most likely Dean's POV…though now that I think about it, maybe from Cas…or a two-shot from each of their POV's?)

I also wanted to say that I'm working on a High School AU Destiel fic loosely based on "You Belong with Me" by Taylor Swift, right now so get excited about that!

So, what I'm saying is expect a lot more Dean/Cas friendship (and even slash, though mostly likely relatively PG-13 only because I am completely awful at anything beyond that!) to come in the future! I just hope you stick around and keep reading!

And to everyone who reviewed/read and just stuck with this particular fic until the very end, I love you. Seriously, you are amazing and I am sending you a virtual hug as I type. Hope to see you on my next go round :)

-**TeeFly**


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